Legacy.

We’ve had way too much death and illness in our families this year. The past two-three months in particular has been really tough for us, because my husband’s father and then grandfather were diagnosed with esophageal cancer and passed away after suffering for some time. At the beginning of the year, my grandmother was “in training” for my wedding (to gain strength to be on her feet longer), fell on her treadmill and still has not recovered. She will most likely never recover—she’s in her mid-80s for Pete’s sake. She’s had many complications from her fall and is in a nursing home. I just can’t wait for 2010 to begin and get some new karma going.

All this turmoil has gotten me thinking…what will happen when I die or possibly get ill someday? Will people come see me if I’m in the hospital or will it be too painful? Will I be a pain in the butt or will I be able to bring some light into people’s lives? Obviously, I have many questions. But I had a realization, too. I never knew my great-grandparents or other ancestors. I know very, very little about them. I know some stories of them (most of which weren’t very kind), but there’s no legacy there. It seems we all pass through here way too quickly. We make our own traditions while here, pass them onto generations, some may remain, some may disappear. But I sure as hell don’t know what traditions were passed down from my ancestors. We have so few. We have documents of our ancestors. But no warmth, no personal connection. Life is so temporary & fleeting. I can do my best to love and be loved. I can try to pass things down to my direct descendents someday. I can help others. But what can I do to create a legacy?