Day Two...

of D's Terrible Torture Experiment. Just kidding...it's really not that bad. Honestly, it's not. Here are two reasons why:

1. I don't have to be done with chores or hobbies by a certain time so I can watch my favorite shows. It's a bit freeing, if you will. Not over-the-top nudist colony freeing (hey there's something I'll never try!), but I feel somewhat liberated, nonetheless.

2. I'm actually getting more restful sleep! I've rarely had a problem falling or staying asleep (unless I'm sick), but without falling asleep to the tv, I'm finding that I feel much more rested in the mornings.

Last night, I ended up avoiding grocery shopping, but I did run errands. And then I came back, did some stuff around the house and practiced guitar for the first time since, oh, maybe when my husband bought me the thing years ago! I learned five songs (nothing you've ever heard, trust me) and after 20 minutes, my fingers hurt. They hurt badly...so badly, in fact, I thought they were bleeding. So, apparently I have wussy fingers that I'll need to toughen up if I want to be the crazy guitar-weilding granny. (Yeah that's right, that came out of nowhere. I decided yesterday, I want to be able to teach my grandkids guitar someday, assuming I even end up having grandkids, or kids for that matter!)

One day down, six more to go...

Wow, this no-tv thing is nuts. How am I going to do this for a WHOLE week?!

I'm learning some very important things about myself and my tv habits, though.

1. I watch about 30-40 hours of tv in an average week, where I have stuff to do and I'm working, but not constantly on the go.

2. My husband & I spend much of our together time in front of the tv. I barely saw him last night because he was enjoying some of my favorite shows ("How I Met Your Mother," "Big Bang Theory") while I was reading.

3. The dogs rely on me to lounge around so they can relax. I was working on a scrapbook last night in the dining room and they sat there and looked at me the whole time. Like they were thinking, "What's wrong with mommy? We need to get her some help! Daaaadddyyy!! Mommy's broken!" Oakley barked at me. A lot.

4. I may come to loathe this "experiment," but I really do think it's good for me. I'll be learning guitar tonight & grocery shopping. :-)

5. I've grown up with my life revolving around tv. When I was a child, I remember my mom turning on the tv as soon as we came in the door and it was always on, for "noise." I remember having to finish my homework by 8p so I could watch my shows and eat my snack (that's another addiction, but for another day!). There were at least one to three shows I just had to watch every night. And I've continued those habits through the years. When I lived by myself, the tv was a constant. It helped me avoid those little "bumps in the night" that might scare me. When I go upstairs to clean or whatever, I immediately turn the tv on. It's not that any of this is wrong or bad, but it's something I never thought about and would like to change.

Radical idea!

By George, I think I've got it! A great way to kick off my Use It or Lose It resolution. This is the radical idea I mentioned the other day. Here it is...wait for it, wait for it...

I'm not going to watch tv for an entire week!

Yes, for some of you, that's nothing, but for me? For me, this could very well be some sort of awful, terrible torture. I could very possibly end up in a straightjacket by the end of the week. I'm not even exaggerating. You know how some people give things up for lent? And often it's something easy, like pop when they're not even a pop-drinker. Then occasionally, you hear someone say they're giving up something drastic, like sweets. THAT would be even worse than giving up tv, but I can't jump into that one yet. I tried the South Beach diet for two days, went through sugar withdrawal, gave up and got a DQ blizzard.

Why oh why am I doing this? I think this will help me break my addiction to tv. And I read about a lady doing this for a magazine article a few years ago and it intrigued me. So I made up my mind to "just do it."

I will leave the DVR set up the way it is, so I may watch my beloved shows next week, if I want to do that.

Day One:
Today is the first day of this groundbreaking experiment. I was feeling life was a bit quiet this morning when I got ready without the tv. (Radio isn't off-limits, but I didn't have it on, either.)

Then I walked outside, and crap! We got 4 inches of snow! I shoveled the walk, tried to drive to work, then turned around and came back. When I got home, I turned on the tv because surely, there would be some serious coverage of this massive snowstorm, right? They showed the Pittsburgh area and the roads were wet and they barely got any snow. BUT, our area schools were closed. So, I bent the rules a little bit, but it was because I thought the world was ending, and that the snow would be up to our roof by dinner. It won't.

So far, I haven't done well, but that'll change! I won't cheat anymore, I swear it! ;-)

Operation: Use It or Lose It in 2010

I've been giving lots of thought to my resolutions for 2010. I started by thinking about who I am now and how I've changed over the years. In many ways, I feel more settled, I feel better about myself, and I feel like I "get" life more now. BUT, who has seen Idiocracy?

It's actually a bit of a dumb movie, but the premise really "spoke" to me when I saw it a couple years ago. In a nutshell, they say that man is getting dumber with each generation. Take, for example, coffee cups with the warning about hot coffee. Or maybe the stupid reality shows on tv (hiding my head in shame, since I watch them religiously!). They show a world where no one can actually think for themselves. They let other people think for them.

Why am I giving you a movie review? Because I feel this happening to me! When I was in high school and college, I always made time to write and read (for the fun of it! Gasp!). I sat and listened to music while in "deep thought." I played music. I actually did things to USE my brain. And now? Well, now I'm a slave to prime-time tv, I'm addicted to reading the latest on the Gosselin family trainwreck, and I have subscriptions to countless magazines because I can't seem to focus my attention on finishing a book. I'm letting my brain ROT!

SO, I want to commit to using my brain AND my heart AND my body in the ways they were meant. I sure don't want to set myself up for failure, though, so I don't want to be too ambitious. I'm going to break it up into manageable pieces and take baby steps. I'm hoping to be able to record my successes and failures here and ideally look back at this day next year and say, "Yeah, I really made progress."

Stay tuned...I have a radical (for me!) experiment coming up very soon. It's going to rock my world (and hopefully yours too!).

Legacy.

We’ve had way too much death and illness in our families this year. The past two-three months in particular has been really tough for us, because my husband’s father and then grandfather were diagnosed with esophageal cancer and passed away after suffering for some time. At the beginning of the year, my grandmother was “in training” for my wedding (to gain strength to be on her feet longer), fell on her treadmill and still has not recovered. She will most likely never recover—she’s in her mid-80s for Pete’s sake. She’s had many complications from her fall and is in a nursing home. I just can’t wait for 2010 to begin and get some new karma going.

All this turmoil has gotten me thinking…what will happen when I die or possibly get ill someday? Will people come see me if I’m in the hospital or will it be too painful? Will I be a pain in the butt or will I be able to bring some light into people’s lives? Obviously, I have many questions. But I had a realization, too. I never knew my great-grandparents or other ancestors. I know very, very little about them. I know some stories of them (most of which weren’t very kind), but there’s no legacy there. It seems we all pass through here way too quickly. We make our own traditions while here, pass them onto generations, some may remain, some may disappear. But I sure as hell don’t know what traditions were passed down from my ancestors. We have so few. We have documents of our ancestors. But no warmth, no personal connection. Life is so temporary & fleeting. I can do my best to love and be loved. I can try to pass things down to my direct descendents someday. I can help others. But what can I do to create a legacy?

Choose love.

I saw this somewhere recently and I already forget where. At any rate, I love this simple sentence that says so much. To me, it means that no matter what happens in life, choose love. Someone hits your car & leaves the scene, choose love. Someone betrays your trust, choose love. You’re diagnosed with a terminal illness, choose love. No, it’s not “choose stupidity.” It’s enlightened because it shows that no matter what happens, you can rise above and be greater than that anger that wants the best of you. I’d like to aspire to this simple phrase.

Wag more. Bark less.

We have two dogs and a cat. They annoy the crap out of me sometimes. They’re so needy and dependent on me and there are days when I feel I’m barely able to get out of bed. Much less care for other living beings. But they’ve taught me a lot and I just need to embrace that when they frustrate me.

Things they’ve taught me:
· Get fresh air & enjoy your time sniffing outside.
· The longer the walk, the better.
· Get lots of sleep.
· When in doubt, snuggle.
· Warm=happy
· Meeting new people is fun.
· The power of unconditional love.
· Wag more. bark less. (I got that off a bumper sticker, but who cares? It’s still true!)